I just realized something -
I haven’t had a meeting with pants on for over a year.
I never though it would get to this point.
Gil Speaks
What Kind of Animal?
Hey Vanessa, what kind of animal is a naysayer?
?
A horse!
Phantom Farts
Hey Vanessa, I have phantom fart syndrome.
?!
I smell farts when there aren’t any.
Enunciate
In grade school they told me to enunciate my words. But I don’t. I string them together. I talk in cursive.
Zucchini
Gil: Hey Vanessa, what kind of ‘eenies live in a zoo?
Me: What’s an ‘eenie?
Gil: zucchinis!
And lo’ and behold, he’s cutting zucchini! facepalm
Paws
Gil: Hey Vanessa, what do puppies do when they’re not playing?
Vanessa: …?
Gil: They paws! 🐾
Capitalism in America
Gil and I, looking at air poppers, because why not.
Gil: “You can get it in any color, as long as it’s blue or red!”
Me: “Capitalism in America is great!” ref
Enunciate
Vanessa is awake at 1am pondering life’s important questions:
“What’s the difference between gingersnap and gingerbread?”
Deep dinosaur, deep!
Dinosaur Fantasty
Dinosaur fantasy: I have become a giant ground sloth, and I live in an avocado orchard. I sloth around all day, bend down branches, and eat avocados right off of the tree. And then I take a long nap. And that’s all I do.
Poopulation Studies
Dinosaur dilemma: I found a typo in a repository searching for the word “poop.”
Option 1: Correct it and reveal to author how I found it
Option 2: Preserve my dignity.
Choice: A new field… poopulation studies!