vsoch

...but it wasn't the coffee :)

I had an epiphany today after an intellectual conversation with two economists in my group in a coffee shop on State Street.

I’m different, and that”s OK.

It makes life harder sometimes; it makes me feel lonely sometimes, but it makes me intriguing, it makes me beautiful. You may never be able to figure me out, but I bet you that knowing me will add value to your life.

I may always run alone, and give a lot more energy than I’ll ever receive back, but I do it because once you strip away everything that keeps us occupied during the day, giving this energy to you, and those who I love, is what gives my life meaning.

The Ultimate Adventure Run!

So I don’t have any doubts about being able to complete most of a marathon at this point. Padr sure was surprised when he found me chillin’ in the ER an hour before his shift got out last night.

Padr: “Vaness!!”

Me: “Padrrrrrr!!”

hug

Padr: What a treat! But how did you get here?”

Me: Whatever you’re thinking, you’re probably right.

Padr: Oh my God, to Manchester? Don’t even tell me…

smirk

I Am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe

So I just finished reading all 700+ pages of Tom Wolfe’s “I am Charlotte Simmons” and frankly, it’s tragic. The novel is obviously modeled after Duke and some other private, large universities and portrays guys as status seeking, frat-culted, sexual predators and girls as attention and approval seeking sex and image slaves, so completely absorbed with the idea of “effortless perfection.” And there is a lot of truth to this superficiality, the hookup culture, and lemming-likeness of our generation… but what made this novel so tragic is that in the end the main character, Charlotte, so bright and intelligent and different, wound up giving in, and I’m not even sure she was aware of it. I’ve always held on to some hope that below this stereotypical blanket that defines many universities and our generation in general, you can still find real people, gems amongst the rocks, who are proud of their identities, don’t put up facades, mask their emotions, cave in to peer pressure or what is “cool” sort of “what you see is what you get.” I know everyone doesn’t fit the stereotype… that’s why Tom Wolfe’s novel got under my skin… he portrayed the kids that “fit” and the ones that didn’t fit… and the latter he depicted as some sort of outcast desperate to find a way to “fit.”

Goodness gracious… I never thought individuality could be so rare and precious… do all you can to maintain it, and your personal morals and values as well. I vow to maintain what makes me Vanessa… wearing running clothes way too much, not really that interested in the whole party/drinking thing, (make-up and high shoes still scare me), maintaining perspective about the balance between work and people, going on adventures and getting muddy just because it’s fun, and following my passions more so than pursuing what is “expected” of me, or looks good on a resume, or will make me the most “successful,” or holding off my life in the present for some dubious date in the future when “things will be different.” (just a little insight, most of the time this future date is exactly that – always in the future!)

I don’t take a lot of aspects of my life for granted anymore… so I’m focusing on the present and being a little more spur of the moment and proactive in maintaining meaningful relationships with people… I’m trying to make every day of my life a rich experience and learn as much as I can from adversity, and emotionally challenging times. And I’m not going to hold back expressing sadness, fear, joy, anger, or any emotion, because these feelings make us human and come together to form the experience that is life.

I just feel so lucky to be alive, life is so rich, such a gift, so incredibly amazing conceptually and scientifically… don’t get so caught up in anything that you forget that!!

Werd! 😛

Cita Ciega

Hey old Spanish buddies!

I just put Cita Ciega up… MAN was that a long video… it took 5 uploads total! You guys are great for dealing with me and my ridiculously long script Anyhoo here it is…

Let me know if anything doesn’t work or play right. I still think the funniest parts are the tennis scene for the first date with the pregnant lady with me and Vasta, Vasta as Pequeno Yo with Victoria, and Yin y Yoo at the end.

OH and the commercials are great too hehe.

Hope you guys are doing well! I miss our Spanish antics… keep in touch!

Souhegan Track Memories

I’m in the process of getting a lot of old videos up on YouTube, and just got finished with the Track Spring 2004 video. You can only upload 10 minutes at a time, so the video is broken into pieces you have to navigate, all under the same playlist. Thought you might enjoy a blast from the past… maybe a little nostalgia

Enjoy! (and more to come soon, from other years and seasons)

NILDA!

A blast from the past. Presenting, NILDA.

A wireless city? Where's my tracking chip?

Philadelphia is going wireless. The present issues concerning the implementation of a city wide wireless system are debatable. However, they wane in comparison to the larger implications of a “Wireless Philadelphia,” which are both curious and frightening.

I think that this project fundamentally is an effort for the government to exert control. EarthLink, the ISP of choice because of its liberal views, will have a monopoly over Philadelphia, as Google will have over San Francisco (K.Rogerson). As Ken Rogerson pointed out, the network will be “maintained” by a non profit agency, also known as the government. This liaison brings up issues of privacy. It seems to me that one of the main incentives for the government to subsidize this project is a long term promise of information, as in the long run the internet will continue encompassing a larger part of our financial, personal, and communicative lives. This cause seemingly geared towards education and betterment of the community is actually an effort to put a leash on a universe that supports direct democracy over represented democracy.

Additionally, a city completely controlled by one ISP would allow this ISP to control the internet space of consumers, possibly leading to a more “geographically bordered” web experience, as Michael Geist alluded to in his article. Could this control be used to unify Philadelphia as community? I think it might allow for specified advertising and stricter access rules, but I do not see a common ISP as uniting a community, as the internet historically has broken the boundaries of location.

Now I would like to discuss the scary part of having a government controlled city-wide network. The first part isn’t so scary. This sort of system might easily transition into connecting a citizen to his or her school, the grocery store, the postal system, and other services of the town. A citizen may be registered on the wireless network as being a member of the town, and could apply this registration with the swipe of a card, such as driver’s license. With wireless across the city and possibly the nation, the nonprofit (government) might be able to monitor every citizen’s transaction, movement, and personal information. As this becomes more popular, perhaps having this valuable information on a card won’t be safe. The next suggestion will be to use retinal or fingerprinting technology, or just have an implanted chip. The government might utilize our fear against terrorism to convince us that as true American citizens we should have this done, so we can pick out “the other guys.” Parents might be told that with this technology they can keep track of their kids, or maybe completely eliminate the burden of paper money. Our every action might be under the quiet surveillance of the government, to be used for behavioral or spending analysis. Anyone that breaks any law in any way or has any information to hide now becomes revealed and easily locatable. Privacy is non existent. We might ultimately become prisoners without bars.

I don’t want to live in a world like that.

It is obvious that other ISP’s will lose some business due to this move. What are the implications of this? I think that other ISP’s are going to make private deals with businesses such as hotels and cafes and schools that would benefit from wireless. We will probably see Earthlink’s wireless blocked in some domains. Other ISP’s will be forced to provide either better wireless for a competitive price, or equal wireless for a lower price. This healthy competition would benefit Philadelphia businesses as they would save money, but how does this benefit the citizens? It is doubtful that the workers of these businesses will see any of the returns from this deal. Therefore, the long run implications are to benefit stockholders and not citizens.

I am curious about the distinction between communication via a cell phone and online communication technology, such as iphone that offers voice over IP (iphone.com). I think the two might become one and the same. The internet will control all aspects of our daily lives and absorb the phone and telephone industry, and possibly areas of government, such as with the patent office, which we discussed last week.

i do worry about EarthLink having total control, and I wonder about true incentives behind this move. Clearly EarthLink is being supported by the government, and it is worrisome that once they have this control they will assert their power.

I wonder how much a universal wireless network can benefit a city like Philadelphia. Through starbucks.com I discovered that there are seventeen Starbucks Coffee shops with wireless in downtown Philadelphia alone. I know that many hotels and common social spots offer wireless as well. The point is that Philadelphia is already very wireless. In a big city like Philadelphia I maintain my view that the money used for this project could be better spent on the school systems. It seems to me that having internet access is useless if individuals do not have computers or a good education.

Crust-less PB&J Should Not Be Patented

I think that the patent system is “broken” in the sense it no longer provides incentive for innovation in science and the arts. The peer review process that Beth Noveck proposes based on the large scale collaboration of experts is intriguing, but I wonder about incentives behind this system. What would give a large number of experts in the public incentive to contribute to this review process in a short period of three months, especially when the ultimate power of decision lies in the hands of the middleman at the patent office? Online, open source systems are very powerful, but I question how much a system controlled by a central power can flourish and grow. It is apparent from the falling salaries that Noveck mentions that patent office employees are not valued. Based on this fact, I do not think that it is probable that this job will exist in the future.

To successfully implement this “collective intelligence,” we must get rid of the middlemen, give public experts complete power to dictate patents, and then deal with the court system electronically. This would call for a complete revamping of the entire patent system, which is why it is so unlikely to happen. The barrier to a better system is the fact that humans are very resistant to change, which Noveck alludes to when she says, “I don’t want to do anything too revolutionary. I want this thing to happen.” Complacency as is seen in this situation is very dangerous because it prevents the change of a corrupt system. I think it is ridiculous that money-hungry oil companies have the power to hold patents for solar technology so it cannot benefit society. I am also very skeptical about pharmaceutical companies’ incentives for creating drugs, and do not agree with Noveck that the patent process provides incentive for national competition.

Noveck refers to companies with high startup and research costs as the biggest participants in national competition. These criteria bring pharmaceutical companies to mind, which I consider to be the most money hungry, monopolistic monsters in the corporate world. United States’ drug companies dominate the global drug industry, as the best selling drugs in the world are primarily created by U.S. companies. These companies take more money from sales as profit than they spend on research and development. Drug companies are not aiming for innovation. They are creating slightly modified versions of drugs already on the market to make a quick profit or to extend patents, which is an abuse of the system. I don’t think that a large, collective intelligence would allow pharmaceutical companies to do this, so they would have to engage in more innovative research to come out with better drugs to get a patent and make their profits.Change is needed, and it will come slowly. I am hopeful that advocates like Beth Noveck will influence small changes that will accumulate over time, and eventually lead to a large transformation of the patent system.

Running a Nation: Only a Click Away

Open source as a means of communication is a very powerful tool, and is transitioning into the world of politics. Howard Dean, a presidential candidate for the 2004 election, was the first to directly connect his campaign to the internet via his “Blog For America” and campaigning website, www.deanforamerica.com. I think that the internet will be a widely used campaign tool and resource in American politics, and it might fundamentally change how Americans relate to the democratic process.The internet will decrease the cost of campaigning and therefore allow more qualified people to run. Ken Rogerson commented that Howard Dean didn’t think he would go very far in the race in 2000 because he didn’t have the money. However, many small donations, thanks to his website, proved him wrong. Currently, it seems to me that running for President requires a higher financial status. With the ability to draw people in, collect donations, and generally spend less doing so, the internet will allow for individuals with less financial means to run. In 2004, the Kerry and Bush campaigns spent $1 on web campaigning for every $100 they spent on TV campaigning (Pew Internet and American Life Project). And clearly, web campaigning reaches the people, as 75 million individuals used the internet to get political news, email candidates, and participate in the political process in 2004. Additionally, 52% of these people said that the information they found online directly influenced their vote. (The Pew Research Center and University of Minnesota). This transition is a positive one for the entire political sector because it opens up the door for qualified yet not incredibly rich individuals to campaign.

The internet is the first mode of political communication in which American citizens can speak back. When I heard about citizens communicating via blogs and online communities my first question was, is anyone listening on the other side? Who is the modulator of this space? I disagree that not having threads prevents any “comparison.” If people can read each other’s opinions then comparisons will be done. If an individual contributes an opinion and does not receive support, then this individual may be disinclined to do it again. I also wonder if the act of posting an opinion actually improves the democratic process, or merely makes people feel more involved? Do the people participating in this discussion represent society by any degree? These questions relate back to the “Digital Divide,” and a question that Weinberger addresses in his interview. Weinberger admitted that an open source community attracts people who want to be a part of this social community, and these people are not necessary united by a desire to have a particular candidate for president. Additionally, people that cannot access the internet have no power to participate in this open source project, but this topic was last week’s discussion.

Another question that I asked was: who will be angry about this transition? Thanks to the internet, ideas and news aren’t very scarce anymore. In the past, the media had a lot of power in presenting political candidates to the public. However now, the once elevated status of journalist or writer is sinking into a sea of ordinary people. Over 75,000 new blogs are created every day (Pew Internet Research). I think that the media is definitely losing power, but they can still be very influential. In my opinion, Howard Dean lost the presidential election due to a malicious move by the media to over exaggerate an expression of his enthusiasm.

I think that online political campaigning is in infancy and will be utilized heavily in the next Presidential election. I can see the internet connecting people directly to a candidate or cause via video feeds, online discussion and voting, petition signing, interviewing, advertising, and even parodies like at jibjab.com. This online democracy works well with the idea of a “wireless Philadelphia,” as a secure wireless system could identify citizens safely and allow for online voting, leading to more of a direct democracy with a higher participation rate (slate.com). However, presidential candidates may be inclined to form their opinions based on popular opinion from their site, rendering our President nothing more than a pretty face.

When it comes down to it, interacting with real people is more valuable than interacting with a computer. However, if the internet can bring people together in the real world and influence people to participate in the democratic process, then it is valuable as well.

Knowledge in the Palm of Your Hand

Brewster Kahle’s proposition to make all human knowledge available online might be a lofty goal, but as he points out, it is fiscally possible. I think the most interesting implications of this possibility have to do with the way in which people consume information. I think that a public, free database of all human knowledge might change society by creating a quality gradient on the internet and creating a market for digital books.

Digital books might become prevalent on college campuses. Let’s image that every single publication is available online, for free. To start off with, I do not think that people like to read things on the computer screen. This taste might lead to the innovation of a “digital book,” or a portable electronic device that is shaped like a book with digital pages to simulate the experience of curling up with a book. Thanks to “Lumalive” textiles by Phillips, LED technology has been incorporated into fabrics. Although this technology is currently being marketed toward consumer apparels like clothing and furniture, I think the next step might be toward more practical uses. An electronic book would be a great product for students because it would eliminate the physical burden of carrying books. I can imagine a lightweight digital book filled with all of a student’s reading materials that allows the student to highlight sections of text and proceeds to organize these sections in a notes document for studying purposes. Perhaps these notes might be shared online by students as well, and readings from professors downloaded from Blackboard. I can see how libraries may embrace this technology and transform into places incorporating these electronic books.On the other hand, I think this movement to make all human knowledge available online could also render libraries useless. If I can download any and all information that I need from online, and as Kahle says, print a book for only one dollar, why should I go to the library? According to the Digital Library Federation, which has combined digital libraries from universities across the United States, use of print resources, academic reserves, and overall library circulation is declining. At many academic institutions, 75% of students access library resources via the internet without ever going to the library. It is simply easier to use the internet. As Paolo Mangiafico noted, libraries need to be geared more towards connecting people over simply holding information, or they will be rendered useless.

A digital library might create a quality gradient across information on the internet. A published piece of work is more respectable and “legitimate” than a blog or a random website spouting facts. I am thinking of educational resources, however, Kahle proposed to have all human knowledge available online. Do we want all of human knowledge to be available online? Searching through every book, TV show, journal article, and podcast to find one nugget of information might be overwhelming, especially since the net is already encumbered. Currently, the average search engine only crawls across 10% of everything out there, called the “surface web,” leaving the other 90% unsearchable (searchenginewatch.com). This is a problem if students are using search engines as primary sources for information, and they are according to the Digital Library Federation. Of this “surface web,” only 7% of searchable information is appropriate for educational use. Perhaps with a digital library, students might actually find quality information in their internet searches. The key to the success of this initiative is finding the best way to organize and search this information. When this is done, people might find information faster and consume more of it. As James Surowieki noted, exposure to a broad span of information is important to prevent information cascade. If this method of searching for books does not involve the use of what we currently call a search engine, the Googles and Yahoos of the world might incorporate digital library searching into their pages, and further segregate information on the internet.

As a representative college student who strives for efficiency and thoroughness at the same time, having high quality “legitimately published” information at my fingertips is very valuable. Creating a quality gradient of information might make learning more accessible, and finally give the internet some well needed respect.

Good quote, thanks cuz :)

“One day you’re going to wake up and realize how much you truly love her and when that day comes, she’ll be waking up next to the guy who already knew…”

The Last Two

Dos anos, y libras mi alma
el pasando intangible de tiempo
y el desarrollando de un arbol
enfocando el valor

Un respiro y me doy cuenta
el trece de este mes me pasa
como la toca de fantasma
y la pesadilla no repitia

La pesadilla no repitia
and the nightmare is done
la pesadilla termina
and I know I have won

Rojas Tresses

Vino en una caja escondida
su tresses sedosos rojos prometiendo
cubos de queso y sudor
debajo de una tela blanca
Los zapatos hundiran en la tierra
enfusada con alcohol y lujuria
tirandome al fondo
al existencia que rahueme
Encima del piso arenoso
sin zapatos resbalamos juntados
moveremos nuestras caderas
en una ritual de la primavera
En una ritual de la noche
Siempre esperare hallar
El unico que pudiera tocar mi alma
el unico que se dejare tocar mi vestido
Pero la vista de la roja es tanto
y el vestido no esta tocado
y cerro la caja, cerro el poder,
la tentacian de llevarlo.
para abrir la posibilidad
en una noche en la primavera

– Vanessa